I'll just walk back in your head

Happy Thursday.


Things have been so crazy.
With school & work & driver's ed
& shows & my mom & loneliness
The truth is last week I was so depressed.
I have been for a while I guess.
I was just so down about everything
Sometimes I was sad for no reason.
Shows were like my drug. If I couldnt go to one
I would be so upset and have a meltdown.
That isn't normal. That's just not right.
This is the reason I realized I needed to change:

Bryce has been from the bottom of the barrel to
the top of the pile and he is truly my hero. He has worked
SO HARD for everything he's ever wanted and he's battled
so much. And the only things that come out of his mouth
are the most inspirational things I've ever heard. If he's
not the best role model I don't know who is. Next time I see him
I need t0 hug him extra tight. I wish he knew that he's saving me.

Anyway. I'm eating nerds and vitamin water.
What a good dinner.
And I just cannot stop listening to Tegan and Sara.

both boys and girls are sudddenly shaking inside

well. I don't know.
I have like wtk for a long time.
Well a descent length of time.
And theyre realllly who i went for yesterday
even though cobra is so fun & the cab was like, amaazinggggggg
i decided that opening bands make the best new bffs.
Ian from the cab is so sweet haha.
& cash kinda chilled with us for a while but he politely left when
it was getting awkward haha.
Travis Clark. oh my.
Seriously i cant reallyy..form words?
idk i feel like a teeniie ahah.
Im just scared because i dont want what happened to blg to happen to them
but i have had my ups and downs with martin,
but I'll always love that guy.
ps Im marrying drew, and colleen's marrying hunter.
done.
this is so we can be even more related. and have the same last name ahah.
pps the middle east OWNS.

ttfn.

definition: an outburst of uncontrolled emotion

I hate when i feel a certain way towards someone
And I know they don't really feel that way towards me
It makes me feel like a shitty person.
Sorry.


I wish i could tell you
You know when you have the most perfect chocolate chip cookie
in the entire world and its fresh and warm and so great
and you're just like WOW
well that is you.
But you're obviously known around the world
by everyone everyone everyone
And well of course you are.
I mean at least for me,
when i first heard you
you grabbed my soul and ripped it out of me
saying LOOK AT ME
You're the best thing I've ever heard.
Just perfect.
I wish I could tell you that. More impeortantly I wish
Me + a hundred other people could tell you that
at the same time But you would see
that
I
was the one
who
really
meant
it.

So this is the new Year

And I don't feel any different.


I wish I was in Times Square last night.
The streamers. The people. The excitement.
The paramore. The Boys Like Girls.
Streamers always remind me of Bryce.
When all those streamers at his show landed on us I was just so
happy and everyone was happy and its was amazing.
Last night I fell asleep around 5am while i was on the phone with Julia.
she was on the phone with me @ 12ET and 9PT when it was
my new year, and i was on the phone with her when it was
3ET and 12ET for her new year. It was nice.

My New Years Resolution that I told everyone is to go to a bazillion more shows than last year. But really I guess that doesnt matter. I just want to care more about people I guess. Well I do, But I guess I want to show it better? I also wanna start doing well in school. I'm gonna make it like my #1 priority. I'm starting to realize how important it is. And how important it is not to get pregnant lol. Other people's mistakes help me so much to see what I have to do.

I also decided though if Paramore goes on tour over the summer or even warped again Im going to tour with them. And I will end up in Seattle.